As I sit on the threshold of a new year, I am doing what many are doing tonight. I'm looking back on the year nearly over. I am marveling at the struggles 2012 brought for me, medically, professionally, and personally. With all this reflection I'm left wondering how the hell am I still standing? How did I not crumble? The answer is astonishingly simple. I was unwilling to make a choice that was anything but getting on with it.
Lest you have forgotten what I fought through in 2012 here it is again.
I was admitted to the hospital three times this year. I spent a total of 12 days in the hospital. I had two major surgeries this year, separated by just three months. Collectively, these procedures meant I lost a month worth of work time.
I had another gastric emptying study, an MRI, a head CT, a chest X-Ray, a Ph-probe study, a swallow study, an endoscopy, an MRA, and two doppler ultrasounds. I wore a Foley catheter for six days. I had testing of my bladder function. I now take nine different medications a day and two more as needed.Yes, I remembered all of that on my own, though I do have it written down for when I see a new doctor.
Speaking of doctors, my team grew by three this year. I now see: a primary doctor, two gastroenterologists (a general GI and one who specializes in gastroparesis and nutrition support.) a pulmonologist and a uroligist.
Yet despite all of that, I have excelled at my job I'm doing so well that I got a performance award during my year-end review in November. I have the best work family I could ask for. I am valued for what I bring to my job, and am missed when I can't be there.
So, while this year may well have been the hardest of my life, I made it through. 2013 is shaping up to start off just as roughly as I will be starting Total Parentral Nutrition (IV nutrition) in the coming days or weeks. I will make it through that too. As I tell everyone who stands in awe of my strength or courage or bravery, there is simply no other good choice. Just do it!
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