Well, it's Thanksgiving-eve here in the States. Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays growing up. We went to my grandparents every year, Thanksgiving was one thing that was cool after my parents' divorce. We got twice the turkey! What could be better than that.
My experience of Thanksgiving has changed over the last couple of years. Last year was the first year I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving. It was also my first Thanksgiving with gastroparesis, though I didn't know that for certain. I spent the day with a friend, ate, talked and laughed. Yes, the holiday is food centric, but I managed to find joy in the face of uncertainity. This year I will spend the day with that friewnd, eat, talk and laugh. Even though the uncertainity of awaiting diagnosis has been removed, parts of the road ahead are still obscured by the shadow of the unknown. That's OK though. I have so much to be grateful for.
I am grateful for recently renewed friendships. I make a habit of pushing people away, then being surprised when I find myself alone. I have been shown the value of having people in my corner and I value their friendship more than they will ever know.
I'm grateful to my work family. They support day-to-day so that I can still contribute. The friends there give me a safe place to fall apart when I need to. My supervisor couldn't be more understanding. I truly lucked out.
I am grateful to my awesome team of specialists, While sometimes it can feel like they're groping for answers right along with me, I know that by-and large, they really care and want to give me the highest quality of life possible.
I am grateful for my life. As hard as it is, as fraught with uncertanity as it is, I have a purpose. I don't quite believe that everything happens for a reason, but if anything has brought me closer to beliving that it is this last year and a half.
Yes, Thanksgiving is going to be different this year, but so am I. Just like last year, I will find joy amid the grief.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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